Day -2: “Why is this happening to me?” – the question every parent of a sick child dreads. After a wonderful day with his grandparents yesterday, Idan had a hard time falling asleep. From midnight to 3:45 am, Idan was awake and restless, and then, for the first time this week, the inevitable wave of sickness from chemo took over. It was a big scene for the little guy, with the nurse and CNA rushing in swiftly to change sheets and begin the course of extra anti-nausea meds, and he understandably was more in shock and fear than anything else. He repeated in between sobs, “why is this happening to me”? And, in that moment, my job was never harder. We have explained transplant in so many ways to Idan, trying to prepare him for this process without frightening or alarming him, but, in that moment, having to explain to my baby why “this is happening” crushed my heart into a million pieces. The right words seemed to have come to me, because Idan relaxed, snuggled sweetly in my arms, and slept peacefully. This morning, he understandably did not really want to eat anything for breakfast. We went offered him Belgium waffles, cheerios, a banana, yogurt, milk and water, and everything tasted strange to him. Until of course he was offered a Blueberry muffin, which he promptly devoured. The rest of the day, my little resilient hero has once again been full of energy, eating and drinking (albeit with a more cautious/limited appetite). He proudly told his grandparents all about the story of how he was awake in the middle of the night, how he got sick, and how we passed the time until he finally fell asleep. Thankfully, Idan finished his course of chemotherapy conditioning today and tomorrow is his rest day. The rest of the week is going to be exciting with his transplant on Monday and his birthday on Wednesday. Thank you to all those that have donated to the Hyper IgM Foundation in honor of Idan’s transplant. You are all amazing and your support will go a long way towards finding a cure!
